Our Mission Statement

CLICK BEFORE MIDNIGHT NEXT YEAR!!!
Get your FREE excerpts and 10% Crypto back redeemable coupon from #RantingInTheMoonlight the
new #SantaSlasherHolidayChapbooks, soon to be available on 8-track audio and shortwave radio.
Shipping & Handling direct to your back door after midnight only with any valid credit card and just the
last nine digits of your Social Security Number!
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( ■ shake that thing honey, I'll get you a bus ticket to an alley just a block off Broadway, gal like you can
hoof it the rest of the way. Pack a light bag, not too heavy, just in case it rains, hate to see you ruin
those high heels and stockings...)
Announcer: "and NOW... back to our feature presentation...
Preface and pre-introduction
Friend of mine was sharing a nightmare he had the previous night. He said he dreamed that he was lost
in the woods and came to a clearing with a cemetery where he got disoriented because all the epitaphs
were on the back the gravestones. He then stumbled and fell against the final resting marker of
#WalterFreeman, upon which an ambulance siren started sounding and eight reindeer dragging a Wild
West Chuck Wagon pulled up beside him and strapped him to the roof to transport him to a local
veterinarian/license revoked MD rogue cash only homeopathy basement surgeon to wait for an
appointment for a #PreOrbitalLeukotomy as soon as he gets word back from his health insurance
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trade any hunting rifles you might have. #WantSomeHerbalTea?
Get your authentic limited edition silver plated #TSEliotCoffeespoon here while supplies last! Start your
collection today. Amaze your friends.
Part II
To reach my word count, I asked chat GPT 5.1ai what the difference between a teaspoon and a coffee
spoon was and it replied:
"The main difference is size and shape: a teaspoon is generally larger with a rounded bowl, used for
stirring tea or measuring ingredients, while a coffee spoon is typically smaller, narrower, and often has
a longer handle to fit into smaller coffee cups. The volume of a teaspoon is more standardized at 5 ml,
but the capacity of a coffee spoon can vary, sometimes holding up to 5 ml or more depending on the
design."
See also: #iftheywereupmyourassyoudknow
#Verbatim #WhatsaBatim?
Heart ❤■ your dog ■? Get it a subscription to #TailsFromTheCipped, a heartwarming new classic
about a boy and his newly shaved poodle.

XXX
-30-
the end
    

Our Team

CBGB janitorial division, air-guitar health & safety department.

Our Team

Welcome to Bill’s Funny Stuff — home of underground humor, retro filth, rejected comics, basement-level brilliance, and things that absolutely never get greenlit by any legal department.

This is the legendary CBGB Wizard Janitor — protector of mops, slayer of floor grime, guardian of the Air Guitar Sickness Bags™ vending machine, and sworn enemy of slippery tiles everywhere.

Graffiti included because of course it is. 69¢ sickness bags because comedy is cheap. And yes — Kilroy was here. He’s everywhere. In the market for small vials of celebrity bodily fluids, bathwater protein spritzer drinks, void where you can't do it of course, but in the billsfunnystuff.xyz executive commode retreat, you're beyond the imaginary beyond the imaginary 3 light year limit, and all the peaches are funny, if not at least half digested as depicted in the mop juice artist's rendition you're feeling queasy just looking at right now.

© billsfunnystuff.xyz/OurTeam.html © 2025 Bill's Funny Stuff. Cartoon concept and layout by Bill Purkins III.

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